This is a Tuit
and Tuits are rare,
especially the round ones,
so guard it with care!

How many times have you heard someone say,
or said it yourself at least 6 times a day. . .
“One of these days I really will do it. . .
I’ll do it as soon as I get a round Tuit!”

Well, here’s your round Tuit,
And good luck to you.
Now there’s no limit (or excuses)
to what you can do!

Order your own round to it at:
Google – The Original Round Toit

By Larry Yeo

“Let’s take a hypothetical case,” said the young instructor to a group of young and zealous mothers. You could tell he was highly trained, for he had the undivided attention of the five ladies present. I was impressed.

“Say you have an acquaintance come to your home and he puts his feet up on your mahogany coffee table. How would you handle the situation?

“I would ask him if he would like a cup of coffee,” one lady answered tentatively.

“Would you not be evading the question?” queried our composed analyst.

“I’d get a magazine and place it under his feet,” answered a second.

“Were you trying to embarrass him?” the instructor asked.

“At least he wouldn’t scratch the coffee table,” I said. I thought this made sense. Our instructor paid no attention to my words of wisdom.

He went on to the next lady, who said, “I’d invite him to look at the rest of the house.”

“Perhaps he would get the wrong idea,” said our leader, “you being home alone and your husband at work.”

“Why don’t you ask him to put his feet down?” I said, becoming a bit frustrated with all this pussy-footing.

Our instructor again ignored me, and went directly to the next lady, who was hesitating to speak.

“I’d, I’d, I’d ask him if he was comfortable,” she blurted.

“Now that’s the dumbest answer I’ve heard yet!” I said.

Our instructor – I use the term loosely – again ignored me and went on to the last lady as nonch alan tly as if I wasn’t even present.

“I’d look embarrassed,” she declared.

She’d do that very well, I thought.

And now, sir, you tell these ladies how you would handle the situation,” he said, looking at me as if he had discovered me in his group for the first time.

“I’d tell the sonnavabitch to get his feet off my coffee table!” I yelled. “How else can you teach this slob some manners?”

“Don’t you think you might change the relationship between you and the visitor?” the instructor asked in a quiet but nervous tone.

“I would hope so,” I replied.

“Now, let’s take another hypothetical question,” said our hypothetical leader after a long pause.

“How would you get the last fellow to put his feet down,” queried a couple of the ladies impatiently.

“Well, I wouldn’t do as this gentleman has suggested,” he replied.

This was the first firm statement, negative as it was, the fellow had made so far. These fellows are living in a hypothetical environment. I don’t think he had the foggiest idea how he’d get the guy’s feet off the coffee table.

“Let’s say a man walks into your yard and you have an angry looking dog that could possibly bite you visitor. How would you handle the situation?”

I was pleased that he should ask this question, for I have such a dog. I knew the answer to this one.

“I would call off the dog,” said lady number one.

“Would you not be saying that the dog is cross? Would this give your visitor confidence? The instructor responded.

“I’d say the dog wasn’t cross,” said the second lady.

“Would you not be untruthful?” asked our double-negative friend.

“The dog is cross,” I interjected.

“I’d say the dog is cross,” said lady number three, picking up on my statement.

“That’s what I said – the dog is cross.”

“Are you trying to scare your visitor?” the instructor said, paying no attention to what I’d said.

“I’d hold the dog,” said the fourth lady.

“Are you not saying, ‘state your business and leave,’” he replied.

“I’d be very embarrassed,” said our fearful fifth.

“Is that an answer?” I demanded.

She must have led a very sheltered life, I thought.

“Now, sir, you can tell these ladies how it should be done,” the instructor said, his voice changing to a higher pitch. He was emotional, I could tell, in an unemotional way.

“I’d put my visitor at ease,” I declared.

“How would you do that,” inquired our fearful fifth.

“Well, I’d state that my dog bites a very low percentage of visitors.”

“My God, that wouldn’t put me at ease!” exclaimed number three.’’

“If I interfered, wouldn’t I be imposing my values on my dog?” I replied.

“But he’s only a dog!” cried our instructor, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

Some people show no sensitivity to the situation, I thought.

“My dog uses some very sophisticated instincts,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to confuse his natural intelligence.”

“But someone may get bitten!” he cried again, continuing to gesticulate.

“My dog only bites people I’d bite if I were a dog,” I said.

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina , KS – 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)

1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of ‘lie,”play,’ and ‘run.’
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6. What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. Long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]

1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication.
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. hat are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals.
4. Give four substitutes for caret ‘u.’ (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final ‘e.’ Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis-mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)

1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
7. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
8. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
9. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying “he only had an 8th grade education” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it? Also shows you how poor our education system has become. And, no, I don’t have the answers!

Good for your health! She makes you laugh. You can email her at teehee@teehee.com for a free ten minute laughter consultation. You can also visit her website Laughter Coach and learn about her How To Laugh Yourself to Health video.

Check out the 30-minute “A Dog’s Guide To Training Owners”, which brings out the puppy in all of us, available on her website: Pratt Publishing.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people will not feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not in just some of use; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

By Marianne Williamson
in Return to Love
(often mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela who, contrary to internet legend, did not use the quote in his inaugural address.)

It’s almost more than I can bear
This empty house, when you’re not there
The nurses administer their special care
And the doctors have all been made aware
Of my sweetie, it starts to wear
I miss you, I love you,
I said it, so there.

Simon Gillis – Whitney Pier, Cape Breton Island